Misc., Parenting

Today I Bought Fat Jeans

I’ve always been a bit on the heavy side, but in college I was able to lose a sizable amount of weight (see what I did there?). I maintained that weight-loss for several years – right up until I had my first child. To be fair, my children are 22 months apart (nearly to the day), and I didn’t have much time between kids to get serious about losing weight. My second child will be one next week and I’m still holding on to about 25 pounds of “baby weight”.

Honestly, I’ve been more than a little frustrated that my pre-pregnancy pants haven’t fit. Thank goodness for stretchy workout apparel or I’m not sure I’d ever leave my house. I’ve read reports from women who lose weight while breastfeeding, unfortunately that didn’t work for me. There are also women who lose weight once their babies are completely weaned (I’m hoping this will be the case, but I’m not holding my breath).

My husband (a former personal trainer who sincerely looks forward to working out three times a week) has been super supportive – he even gave up carbs with me for 6 months! He’s encouraged me to find a workout that I enjoy (super good advice actually) and I’ve been working out 2-3 times a week fairly regularly for the past few months. Despite working out and cutting carbs, my weight hasn’t budged.

Most of the time I’m content with yoga pants, running shorts, and a couple of pants I bought right after my first daughter was born. However, occasionally, I want to wear my “real” clothes. I’ve read (and believed) that buying larger clothes means you’ve given up. I’m still confident that, in time, the weight will come off and that my pre-pregnancy clothes will fit again, however, if buying a pair of pants (or two) that fit my body as it is now increases my self-esteem, that is what I’m going to do.

After months of getting by on a limited wardrobe (11.75 to be exact) I’ve finally taken the plunge and bought pants two sizes larger than the pants I wore before I got pregnant. It is a bit liberating to know I can dress like I did before having my babies – like reclaiming a bit of myself. It may seem insignificant, but accepting myself in my current state is a pretty big step.

So, today, I bought new pants…and I’m ok with it…actually more than ok with it, I’m excited to have pants that fit who I am right now.


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